By the time you read this I may already be dead

Well, ok I’ve got your attention now I’m guessing. I will quickly dispel any fears some of you may have that this is some kind of blogger’s suicide note and say that the title of this post merely describes just exactly what I feel right now.

This is a genuine photo of me at the moment. Yes, I am that gorgeous and yes, I am that young-looking

As you may have gathered from Friday’s post, I’ve not been well recently and it would seem my temperature is not going away without a battle. Pills galore are keeping it bay for much of the time but today my wifey decided enough was enough and I had to be packed off to the hospital to get seen by our doctor (a Korean woman who is also our neighbour and really very, very lovely – she’s one of the most smiley ladies I’ve ever met) and get blood tests.

All was not well. My blood pressure is low and some count thingy on the blood test was unusually low too, enough for our doctor to query Typhoid.

Typhoid is extremely common in this area of Bangladesh. An awful lot of people come into LAMB hospital with it and some do die. Just last week one of our teachers ended up hospitalised with Typhoid and is still in now from what I understand. I teach his daughter.


You might notice a strain of paranoia running here and, yes, you’d be right. I’ve just committed the worst sin any ill person can do: I looked up the symptoms of Typhoid fever. It really is the worst thing any sick person can do and is the fastest way to becoming a hypochondriac. I panicked when I read these and thought “Oh my Lord, I’m going to die!” I knew it would happen too. Anyway,Β here they are:

Symptoms of Typhoid

  • High fever (up to 104Β° F).
  • Diarrhoea or constipation.
  • Pain in abdomen.
  • Headache.
  • Fatigue, malaise, weakness.
  • Non-productive cough.
  • Slowing of heart rate (bradycardia).
  • Anorexia.

Well my fever has reached nearly 102 degrees and I’m not sure how you judge anorexia in the short-term but otherwise, yep all these I can check off! Actually the second one down is a bit of a cheat. When you live in BangladeshΒ everyone goes from Diarrhoea to constipation and back. There is no middle ground really.

Well thankfully, wifey and Mrs Korean doctor are more sensible: We’re treating this as a virus and NOT Typhoid.

Looks like I got me some of these bugglies…

Any borderline symptoms are being watched and if my temperature does get to 104 then we swap over and start doing blood cultures and taking antibiotics. Meanwhile, I just have to get on with feeling dreadful and alternately going from fever to shivers, from feeling pretty decent to feeling like all my energy has been sucked out of me and from feeling peckish to believing that if I even look at food I’ll puke. I don’tΒ do being ill; can you tell?

If I put my paranoia to one side, I have to admit, it is going to be a virus. ItΒ alwaysΒ is.Β I’ve been in and out of hospitals many times, each time mimicking something nasty. Every time it turned out just to be a virus. I even had a lumbar puncture once because of suspected Meningitis; it wasn’t, of course. So, for now, I have a virus and I’m keeping it that way – no matter how awful I feel lounging on my bed.

I had intended to post another short story for you all to peruse today, but just didn’t have the energy to finish it, edit and then proof-read it before posting. Next week, maybe. Assuming, of course, that my title doesn’t turn out to be prophetic.

This is me too. Except all those papers are a lie…

This entry was posted in Bangladesh, Humour, LAMB, Life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to By the time you read this I may already be dead

  1. Pingback: Being a Patient and the Art of going to the Lavatory -part I | kenthinksaloud

  2. Hope you feel better soon Ken!


  3. Pingback: Call me Typhoid Mary | kenthinksaloud

  4. That’s the hookiest title ever! Now you’ve got people all over the blogosphere wishing you well.
    I hope you’re feeling better. =/


  5. Bindu says:

    The title really shocked me, as you intended. Hope it’s not too late πŸ˜‰ and you are all right by now.


  6. I hope you are feeling better now Ken..I too become a hypochondriac when I’m ill..which luckily doesn’t happen too often!!
    Wishing you a speedy recovery!


  7. Muna Haque says:

    I am praying for you…you will be alright…God’s with you πŸ™‚


  8. Anonymous says:

    I am praying for Uncle Ken….you’ll be alryt πŸ™‚


  9. Marie Mee says:

    You should think about writing a script about a lighthouse in the middle of a galaxy, with a cleaner, a tea boy loads of other zany characters and the Best Instruction Book for Learning Everything (winks conspiratorially) x


  10. Ruby Tuesday says:

    You cannot up and die, I haven’t yet done my show post, and certainly that alone is worth holding on for. πŸ˜‰

    As for anorexia, it is a medical term for not eating/ loss of appetite. It is not to be confused with the illness anorexia nervosa.

    Feel better soon, I’ll get good and depressed if I haven’t got you to banter with. Oh, also, I don’t like the idea of you suffering. πŸ˜‰

    Healing thoughts to you.


    • Ruby Tuesday says:

      *That’s shoe post, not show post. I only show so much! πŸ˜€


    • I certainly am holding on for that fabled post of yours, Ruby!

      Ah ha, yes I understand. It’s not used here at LAMB (where lack of appetite, I think, just gets written) but it makes sense and I confess I did forget the condition I was thinking of has nervosa added. Thank you for, yet again, putting me right…you do it so well πŸ˜‰

      Thanks for your good thoughts for me and, please, feel free to banter – you can’t believe how boring it is sitting on a bed every day. I liked it for the first couple of days but now I’m just frustrated! 😦


  11. Oh Ken I’m sending healing vibes your way…


  12. Rinth says:

    Have some icecream and watch comedies!


  13. Heather says:

    Oh poor you. Hope you are quickly on the mend. With your wifey and a kind doctor on the case, I’m sure you’ll be up and about before too long.


  14. You better kick that virus out and get well soon!!!!


  15. boomiebol says:

    Feel well soon Ken!


  16. oddznns says:

    Get well soon. You HUNK you! This is the inner Ken you know;)


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