I am struggling to know what to write for this final post. My heart couldn’t be much heavier and every time I stop for a moment I come close to bursting into tears. I can’t even bring myself to posting a photo from the many I took today. Except this one which sums it up pretty well:
The day began okay. We were leaving LAMB at 2 pm and just needed to finish packing plus oversee the remaining furniture being taken by our friends.
Then a director called us at 10 am to tell us the flights to Dhaka had been brought forward and now we had to leave at 11 am – less than an hour!
Mass panic as we tried to cram stuff into bags and call friends we knew wanted to say goodbye to let them know we were going now.
Incredibly, everyone descended on us very quickly. It was all good as we busied around getting everything sorted. Then the hugs started and almost immediately the tears began – all round. I did my best to hold mine back but it was so, so hard to say goodbye to people who have been my friends and my family for so long.
The car journey to Saidpur was silent and we didn’t have much to say while we waited to board probably the smallest commercial plane in the world.
I can’t complain – I write for the in-flight magazine for the airlines we used. It was a very nice ride actually but I’m afraid I was in no mood to enjoy it. All I could see – and still see – are all the people who gathered in our house to say goodbye. All I hear is sobbing. All I feel is the choking back of my own tears.
Life goes on. We’re beginning a new chapter of our life as a family and we’ve got to adjust and adapt. God willing, we will do just that.
So this is my final post of this series and probably the last post of 2013. I may have some posts to publish on my writing blog Writeoutloud and I’ve been asked for a few guest posts and to write one or two reviews, but this blog on Bangladesh will temporarily end with the post you’re reading now. Thank you for following – especially if you’ve been here a while. Well done for coping with my ramblings.
I will return in 2014 but I’ll take a while to regroup with Wifey, Thing I and Thing II before deciding the direction this blog will take from hereon. It will certainly continue to be about Britain and Bangladesh as predominant subjects but the emphasis will undoubtedly change as I rediscover my own country and culture and re-work out what it means to be English.
Until then, may I wish you all a very happy new year and share my hope that 2014 brings you many blessings. I’m sure I’ll be bouncing back fairly quickly so expect to hear from me soon. I’ll keep checking and replying to your comments so please do keep them up. My blogger friends will hear from me as I catch up on literally hundreds of posts I’ve not had chance to read recently – especially with an internet service which has been near impossible – so please forgive my absence. That’s one thing I hope will change.
I wish I had words of wisdom at this point but there’s none. I can’t think of any pithy way to end this post; no way to make sense of all we’ve experienced. Instead, I guess, I’m experiencing the confusion which almost defines Bangladesh: immense pain but pain which is right to feel and essential to be there. A pain which tells me that what I felt and believed about Bangladesh and LAMB and everyone there was real.
And, my God, how real it feels.
- 30 Final Days of Bangladesh – Day 29 – Shubho Boro din! Merry Christmas! (kenthinksaloud.wordpress.com)
- 30 Final Days of Bangladesh – Day 28 – A Thousand Apologies (kenthinksaloud.wordpress.com)
- 30 Final Days of Bangladesh – Day 25 – Hitting the wall (kenthinksaloud.wordpress.com)
- 30 Final Days of Bangladesh – Day 24 – Goodbye to LAMB staff (kenthinksaloud.wordpress.com)
- 30 Final Days of Bangladesh – Day 0 (kenthinksaloud.wordpress.com)